Boom, badoom, boom, He got that super bass!

See I need you in my life for me to stay

(Nicki Minaj- Super Bass)

Intermediate Lesson 19- Côte d'Azur (French Riviera)

I arrived at Le Cordon Bleu's building on Rue Léon Delhomme at 11:30am, guilty for having skipped morning practical and leaving Gulnazi to do all the assistant duties. I then found out that only 6 out of 10 people from my group showed up to class, and Gulnazi wasn't one of them. Yep, neither of the assistants today came, and Chef Poupard had to move all the materials to the second floor classroom himself. When my partner-in-crime Gulnazi strolled into the building at 12:00pm, she apologized embarassingly for skipping morning class.

"Gulnazi, I didn't go to class either" I laughed.

"Wait, so who moved all the materials to the classroom?" She asked astonishingly.

"Chef Poupard."

"Oh, shi.........."

"Yep."

Chef Poupard, who also led our demo class at 12:30pm, didn't look too bothered when I apologized today for not being there. He just threatened to fail me so I would have to repeat intermediate in January. Hahah..... oh wait was that not a joke? I couldn't tell. Ummm... Please don't.

For this class, we drove our imaginary convertible Renault Dinalpin along the Mediterranean coast to the Côte d'Azur (French Riviera). Ahh a burst of sunshine by the beach in Cannes is exactly what I need now. We made a puff pastry galette with marinated sea bass, virgin vinaigrette with basil.

Boom.

The dish was very straightforward to make, especially since we didn't have to prepare the pâte feuilletée ourselves. We just baked the thing. We even prevented the puff pastry from rising too much by putting another baking sheet directly over the dough.

On top of the puff pastry, we put some tomato concassé mixed with really soft onions, brunoised green peppers and sliced black olives.

We filleted the sea bass, cut the ill-tempered fish into thin pieces, and then marinated it in a lemon-based sauce. The acid of the lemon cooks the sea bass without heat, and we would have to serve the fish 10-15 minutes after soaking the meat in the marinate or the fish would be overcooked.

We even had some dried tomatoes and balsamic vinaigrette as decorations. All in all, this was a pretty and delicious dish.

Quote from this class:

Demo Chef Poupard: Now add a few drops of Tobasco sauce into your marinate

American Student: Wow wait, you have Tabasco sauce in France?

Chef: Oui.... of course.

Student: Where can you find it?

Chef: Anywhere..... in any supermarket.

Student: No way! Where? I've never seen it.

Chef: Typically these are placed in the condiment area, where one would expect it.

... 10 minutes of back-and-forth later...

Student: I just find it incredible that you can buy Tobasco sauce in France. It's like made on some random island off of Louisiana!

Chef: The basic students go on a farmer's market field trip, and the superior students to go the wholesale market. Perhaps we should organize a field trip for the intermediate students to go to the supermarket!

... at the end of the class...

Student: Howard, this better not be your quote of the class!

While cleaning up the practical room after class...

Fellow Assistant Gulnazi: Howard, you have to step on my foot now.

Me *washing my knives*: Huh? What?

Gulnazi: I accidentally stepped on yours, and by Russian tradition you have to step on mine!

Me: I didn't feel you stepping on me, so..... I'm not going to step on you.

Gulnazi: You must! Or else we'll fight each other!

Me: No! I'm incapable of hitting women.

Gulnazi: HOWARD! You HAVE to step on me, because we're going to be assistants together for the rest of the week.

Me: I'd rather fight and see who wins!

And so, my week of being assistant with Gulnazi began with:
1. Both of us skipping our first class 
2. Us arguing over why I should step on her foot
Five more days to go, partner....

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell.

I know, right now you can't tell...
(Matchbox Twenty- Unwell) 

Intermediate Lesson 18- Auvergne

We travel to the Auvergne region for this class, and we prepared a braised forcemeat dish wrapped by cabbage and bacon.

Pow

We've made so many forcemeat dishes already it's getting boring. What annoyed me in this class is that in the past, the chefs presented the rule of forcemeats using 20g of salt for 1 kilogram of protein, but for this dish they're saying it's 9g of salt for 1 kilogram of protein. When I asked the Chef, he said "Obviously it all depends on the dish." Then why was there a rule if its always going to depend on the dish anyways? At least this dish is wrapped in bacon. Everything is better when it's wrapped in bacon. We served the dish with some vegetables cut to pont-neuf.

Confession: I didn't go to practical class today. The picture was from the chef's demonstration class last Saturday. I've been suffering from a terrible sore throat since Saturday, and last night I woke up basically every other hour because I was drowning in my own phlegm. My throat hurts when I eat and talk. Sorry, I know it's TMI, but I feel compelled to explain myself because I am also assistant for the week with Gulnazi. I feel terrible to have bailed out on her and left her alone because today the assistant had to grind up the meat for the entire class. Really sorry about this Gulnazi. I intend on going back to school at noon today and help with the afternoon practical.

Although my throat is really killing me now, at least I don't have a fever. In intensive, you can easily miss 4 classes just by skipping one day. That would really suck since you are only allowed 6 absences.

I have to admit though: sleeping in on a Monday morning felt great.

Quotes from this class:

Student *Pointing at the forcemeat wrap that the chef made*: That's for one person?
Demo Chef Caals: Oui Madam. This is for one person.
Student: Oh my god. Can I do a smaller one?
Chef Caals: We're already using our smallest bowl as a mold
Student: I dunno, to me that size is already really..... intimidating!
The Chef ended up serving a half portion dish for her.

From Russia with Love, I Fly to You...

I've Seen Places, Faces and Smiled For a Moment...
(Matt Monro- From Russia With Love)

Lesson 23 - Beef Strogonoff

 Boom

Today's class is on Beef Strogonoff, a dish of Russian origin. The funny thing is, the Cordon Bleu version looks nothing like what I see on the internet. Our Stragonoff has a reddish hue due to the large amount of paprika that we put in the dish as well as the tomatoes. The recipes that I see online doesn't call for paprika, and instead of regular cream they call for sour cream, which I'm sure would alter the flavor profile.

Typical picture of what I find online

Aside from the beef, we served the dish with rice, carrots, green beans and zucchini, which all have to be prepared separately. They're all pretty easy to make aside but the biggest trick is to manage your station so that everything can come out well.

Strogonoff Sauce

Sear beef trimmings, pour out grease, then add in
1/2 onion finely chopped, 2 tomatoes chopped and tomatoe paste. Then deglaze with
200ml white wine, add
1 tbsp Paprika, 2 mashed garlic cloves. Give it a few minutes and add in
400ml brown veal stock and Bouquet Garni. Let cook and reduce.
Strain sauce and reduce as necessary. Before serving add in
100ml cream and whisk. Do not boil sauce anymore.
After prepping and searing the beef, add the beef into the sauce for a minute, then bring the beef out and serve.

Why should it be that the fish in the sea are all unable to sing?

Just listen to me young fellow. What need is there for fish to sing, when I can roar and bellow? 
(Mr Scruff- Fish)

Lesson 15- Brill Fillets in White Wine Sauce

Ugh we've had fish for two classes in a row, and my fingers now perpetually smell like fish. Then again, we had a wonderful brill fillet dish today.

This is the second time that we filleted a fish, and again it is a type of flatfish. I have to admit that this time has been much easier than our first time. Although I screwed up 2 of my slices, I am proud to say that my 2 other slices came out remarkably well, with minimal meat left on the bones. Deskinning was also pretty straightforward. On the other hand, the brill so much more slippery than the lemon sole, and it was not pleasant handling it. As with last time, we braised the fish in a stock made by the fish's own bones. Cruel.

The real challenge was the turned potatoes anglaise shape, IE big 4-5 cm pieces of potatoes cut into oval shapes. Turning has been one of the hardest skills for me master. I've always flunked grade school arts & crafts class, so I really don't think I can improve much here.

Chef Legue's comments for me is "Fish is well cooked. Sauce is well flavored. Potatoes are well cooked but need to be uniform in size." Uniform in size? Do you realize how proud I was just to make those potatoes look decently turned? Anyways, I guess I'll just have to keep practicing!

The braising liquid used:
Fish stock (Brill bones, 1/4 onion, 2 shallots, butter, Bouquet Garni, White wine and cold water)
Cooking Garnish (1 chopped onion, 2 chopped shallots, 3 tomatoes peeled, skinned and chopped)
We then turned the braising liquid into a sauce:
add: 100ml white wine
REDUCE!
add 125g butter
add 2 tbsp finely chopped parsley as late as possible
Boom

Surprisingly we didn't have to strain the sauce today before serving.

Quote from this class:

"This is a Brill. It's a type of flatfish that lies at the bottom of the ocean floor. Kind of like the lemon sole that you had earlier in the term. Flat fishes swim like this." *WOBBLES the dead brill vertically* Fish refuses to wobble "Rigidity is a sign of freshness in a fish."
... Later in the class
"This is a Salmon. It swims normally in the sea. Like this." *WOBBLES the dead salmon horizontally*

- Demo Chef Legue

And if you go chasing rabbits...

And you know you're going to fall...
(Jefferson Airplane -White Rabbit)

Lesson 13- Traditional Recipes

Today's menu was braised rabbit meat.

The resulting dish from the demo

I actually really like rabbit meat. It's lean, tasty and something one doesn't come across all that often where I am from.

Of course cooking it is an entirely different matter. We each had a full rabbit (skinned) to work with, and have to learn about the different cuts and split the creature into different bits. The material itself was pretty disgusting. We're not allow to take photos of the kitchen during class, but I just had to snap a few photographs:

The "raw" material.

Step one is to CHOP off its head. Step 2 is to cut out its front and rear legs. Step 3 is.... Okay I'll stop.

Pair of front legs and hind legs from the rabbit I had.

Overall, I was not as traumatized as some other classmates of mine. To me it was just another ingredient to work with. Another day in the kitchen.

I think I did pretty well in this class, with my only fault being I didn't reheat my rabbit when I plated it. The meat was sitting out for around half an hour, and I should have thrown it into the oven for a few minutes just to get it warm again. The first words that Chef Terrien, our practical chef, said was "C'est foid!"Okay. Lesson learned. Chef Terrien was actually very nice and was very supportive, but he made it very clear that he would come down hard on us if we made the same mistakes the next time we have him.

Rabbit with mustard

Cut the rabbit, then sear the individual pieces on a hot pan.

Remove rabbit and saute onions, rosemary, garlic cloves and shallots on the same pan 

Brush mustard onto rabbit and put the pieces back onto the pan. Deglaze with white wine and chicken stock

Put into oven for ~15-25 minutes.

Take out. Reserve rabbit pieces and reduce the remaining liquid.
Saute the rabbit liver. Keep the insides pink.

When sauce is done reducing, put in mustard with whipping cream.

Strain sauce. Reheat rabbit meat.
Remember to season!

Serve

Boom

Quotes from this class:
"You did very well today, Howard. That's all I can tell you. You have to improve on a few things but I've told you what they are. Next time I will be paying close attention to you, and you better not make the same mistakes again." -Chef Terrien after I asked if I could see my grade for this class.

Demo Chef Stril: Each student will have his own rabbit to cut and cook.
Female students: *GASP* No!!!

Comme tout le monde j'ai mes défauts....

J'ai pas toujours les mots qu'il faut...
(Natasha St-Pier - Tu Trouveras)

Lesson 12- Stuffings - Part 2

For today's class we learned how to fillet a raw chicken and stuff forcemeat into the breast meat. As we learned last class, forcemeat is a mixure of ground lean meat with fat. This class, we created the forcemeat with a food processor (Robo-coup en français), turning chicken breastmeat into a very lightly textured purée called mousseline forcemeat. We stuffed the purée into the chicken breasts and served it with a delicious mushroom cream sauce.

Yummy food.

To my surprise, the challenge today was in fact not cutting the bird, but instead learning how to "turn" a mushroom.

We're suppose to cut a mushroom like THIS?

Needless to say I completely screwed up my mushrooms. Luckily no one in my group did really well here.

However, even the mushroom paled in comparison to my biggest challenge today- leaving my keys in my apartment and locking myself out. I had no access to my knives and uniform until 9pm, and my class would start at 6:30pm. After a few frantic phone calls, I managed to convince Jonathan, a friendly Canadian classmate from another section, to lend me his equipment and uniform. Thank you Jonathan. I don't even know your last name.

Still I didn't have my notes to cook with, and I had to fly blind, trying to do everything from memory. I was so angry at myself for this screw-up, but I guess nobody is perfect.

Quote from this class:

"You should be glad that I am too tall to see your face. But I know who you are. You should know you really shouldn't sit in the last row. There's a seat in the first row calling your name. Come. Really, come down and sit in the first row. It'll do you wonders." - Demo Chef Legué, after a student in the last row asked a question with a fairly obvious answer.

I'm on a BOAT And It's Going FAST And...

I Gotta Nautical Themed Pashmina Afghan!
(Lonely Island- I'm On A Boat (ft. T-Pain))

Lesson X- Boat cruise edition

So no class today, but the entire basic cuisine and patisserie class was brought onto a bateau mouche lunch cruise along the River Seine. This is supposed to be a regular tradition in Cordon Bleu, and people in the past have had a lot of fun. Frankly I had such low expectations because bateau mouches are reputably such tourist traps. Surprisingly the food was really good not bad, definitely defied expectations, and we all had a real good time. I think the magical ingredient in this meal is the ample amount of wine they served us. Point is the weather was nice and everyone was happy.

 Chef Bogen giving a speech in both English and French

It was so weird to see everyone from school not in uniform. You mean people in this school actually look normal in real life?

Group I with Chef Bogen

More Group I love

The trip was very lovely, and we all were so sad when it ended at 3. but don't worry, there were so many after parties all over town. Our group went to Montmartre.

I have to admit that I was a bit disappointed today because I expected more chefs to be present on the cruise. It turned out only Chef Bogen from cuisine, and I think Chefs Quéré and Mahut from pastry were on the boat. It would have been great to talk to more chefs outside of a classroom and get to know them on a personal level and to know their stories. Maybe next time.

 

Cheers!

Quote from this class:
Chef Bogen (end of speech): I hope that everyone will have fun today!
Students: OUI CHEF! :D

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie...

That's Amore!
(Dean Martin- That's Amore!)

Lesson-4  Commonly used doughs- Part 1

Today's class was on doughs, and we focused on making Pissaladiere, a French interpretation of pizza from Provence. Instead of a cheese and tomato sauce base, the dish used caramelized onions, and is topped by typical Mediterranean ingredients such as olives, anchovies and tomatoes.

I was pretty depressed after the fiasco last class. So I thought the best way to cheer up myself was to ace the next class. I took copious amount of notes during the demo, reviewed the notes, and made sure I knew exactly what I would be doing before entering my practical class.

Of course, no amount of planning could fully prepare a person for the heat and pressure in a kitchen. Right off the bat I screwed up the amount of olive oil in my dough, effectively rendering my dough too wet. I poured in an incredible amount of flour hoping to dry my dough but at the same time fearful that I'd overcompensate and make my dough too dry. I managed to stabilize the situation and let the dough rest.

Then I screwed up the caramelizing of my onion. A friendly classmate walked by my station and said "I think your garlic is burnt in your onions." Shit, what should I do now? I decided that I was so determined to do well this class that I had to chuck the entire pan of onion and garlic out and refire. Fuck it. I am not letting some stupid garlic ruin my dish.

The end product was fantastic. The chef that day (Chef Vaca) was very impressed by my pie crust, which was golden brown but still soft. He said the only comment he could give me was that my onions could have been softer, which made sense because I refired my onion and didn't have enough time to cook them thoroughly.

I was so happy with my product. Here's a victory pose:

 

I think my expression sum up how I felt

Pissaladiere:
200g flour
Yeast
5g salt
5 g sugar
2 Tbsp of olive oil (Not 3!)
60ml water
1 egg

Garnish with caramelized onions. Top with anchovies, olives, tomatoes, ete.

By the way: I love the French and French cuisine, but honestly leave pizza making to the Italians. I know a pissaladiere isn't the same thing as pizza, and the cooking methods of the two are pretty distinct, but pissaladiere is definitely a relative of the pizza. Sadly I would say they are the ugly cousin of the Italian pizza, below the New York or Chicago pizzas. The Pissaladiere's dough was too thick and fluffy, and frankly a pizza without the tomato sauce or cheese just tastes weird.

Tip of the day: If you think anchovies are too salty for your taste, you can soak them in milk to take away much of the saltiness. Pretty cool huh?

Who's that chick? Who's that chick?

Feel the adrenaline moving under my skin...
(David Guetta feat Rihanna - Who's That Chick?)

Lesson 3- Poached Chicken with Supreme Sauce / Common Thickeners

The dish, as cooked by the demo chef

Continuation of our stocks lessons, today we learned about chicken stocks. For practical we focused on poaching a chicken and learning how to make Béchamel sauce, which is one of French cuisine's mother sauces. We used it as a base to make the Sauce Suprême for our chicken.

First we learned about thickening agents. Thickening agents refers to ingredients that we use to thicken a liquid. Common thickening agents include starches (flour, potatos, rice), others include milk, eggs, ete. The instructor was quick to point out that gelatin from bones is NOT a thickening agent, as it alters the property of the liquid by too much. In our class, we focused on roux. White roux refers to mixing flour into melted butter, while brown roux is the same thing but you allow the melted butter to brown first, which would give the roux a deep brown color and a stronger flavor.

Two ways to make Béchamel:

1. Mix cold white roux with hot milk, equal parts
2. Mix hot white roux with cold milk, equal parts

Pour the milk into the roux all at once and whisk vigorously or you will get lumps. Allow the liquid to boil to activate the thickening agent. To make Sauce Suprême, mix in a ton of chicken stock and reduce until it becomes a beautiful creamy texture. Season with salt, pepper and nutmeg. Boom.

For practical, we got a chef who fancies himself as a Darth Napoleon Gordon Ramsey Vader. The guy was 5 feet tall and enjoys walks around humming the Darth Vader Imperial March song while criticizing everyone's cooking methods. He always managed positioned himself next to me every time I screwed up, and mocked how I handled my whisk/chicken/pan/whatever. It was very stressful as I had to manage the poaching chicken, boiling sauce and cleaning my station, all while enduring the Imperial March in the background. I ended up burning my rice in the saute pan, which gave it an unappealing brown color and prevented it from absorbing liquid afterwards. When tasting, the chef spat my rice into the trash and said "This is the shittiest rice I have ever had. You are lucky that this is the last ungraded class!" Thanks chef. I was so demoralized that I just shoved my food into the Tupperware to bring home. I ended up trashing everything.

Reality vs the Dream: 

I realized today that I still have a long way to go

In business school parlance, this would be called a good "failure case." I ended up writing a post-mortem analysis about why I screwed up (better station management, mis-en-place earlier, ete), so this wouldn't happen again. Why did I care so much about what a short chef says about my food anyways?

Quote from this class:
"If you do cut off your finger, you are not allowed to scream, because you will scare everyone. Also do not bleed all over the station or you will have to clean your own blood. Do not ask for help because your finger is gone already. Come on, I am just kidding!" - Demo chef Vaca, while cutting a chicken. No one laughed.

What she order, FISH FILET?

That shit Kray-ze.
(Jay-Z & Kanye West- Niggas In Paris)

Lesson two of Cordon Bleu focused on stocks. Stocks are the basis of many dishes in this school, and I feel that we will be making these quite often. The demonstration class instructor walked us through the many basic stocks, and made a brown veal stock and white sole stock in class. The second emphasis of this class was to learn how to descale and filet a sole. The instructor, with typical grace and dexterity, made the entire process seemed natural and straightforward. I went home that day thinking it wouldn't be too bad.

Our practical class was bright and early at 8:30am on Saturday. We had an Asian chef insturctor, who was friendly and very clear in his instructions. What a contrast to our chef in lesson one! Curiously, I couldn't find this person in the chef's biography file, so I can't find out his name.

Sadly that was basically the only highlight of this class. The processing of the sole took an arm and a leg. Wash>De-fin>Scale>Gut> Take out Eyes>Filet> Skin the filet. The process was painful. I've heard graduates of Cordon Bleu say that the memory of fileting a fish will forever be seared in their minds, and I see exactly what they mean. My first filet was an absolute disaster, with the piece of meat looking more like mash potato than fish filet. Luckily, each fish has 4 pieces of meat (for each quarter of the fish), and we had 2 soles to prepare. Still it was quite nerve-wracking cutting out the fish filet, and then meticulously cutting off the skins.

My hands smelled like sole for the rest of the day, even after a shower and a few hand washes. I will never take a fish filet for granted. Ever.

Review of my dish: Sauce was too thin (I should have Stirred in More Butter). I also folded the fish the wrong way (pretty bone side should be facing out). Finally plating could have been prettier (garnishing, sauce could have been poured better)

Otherwise the fish was actually braised pretty well.

Quel heure est-il où tu es?

Un autre avions et tu repars 
(Simple Plan - Jet Lag ft. Marie-Mai)

I had no class scheduled for today. Cordon Bleu's schedule is known to be quite erratic. Classes can take place during any of the following periods 8:30am-11:30am, 12:30pm-3:30pm, 3:30pm-6:30pm, 6:30pm-9:30pm from Monday to Saturday. Because there are 9 basic groups sharing 3 kitchens with intermediate, advanced and recreational classes, our schedules completely depend on the availability of kitchens and instructors. Cordon Bleu classes are designed so that students can take the basic cuisine and basic pastry classes concurrently, which is advertised as a 40 hours/week commitment. Therefore, for folks like me taking only the regular speed basic class, the advertised class time is 20 hours/week, which sounds incredibly little. The truth is somewhat complicated. First is you would always need to bake in extra time to dress into your cook's uniform because you are not allowed to wear the uniforms outside of school premises for hygene reasons. (You don't want to cook with clothes that have germs and dust all over them). More importantly, because classes can take place any time during the day, there are often awkward times of the day when students have nothing to do. Take one of my weeks as an example:

There are days when I have 3 hour gaps between classes. Days when I have no classes, and quite a few Saturday 6:30pm classes. For students who live far away from school, it just doesn't make sense for them to go home if they have a few hours between classes. Cordon Bleu also provides very few public access rooms for students to hang around, ie just a depressing "Winter Garden" that looks like it was hacked together in the 60s.

All in all, I wish that Cordon Bleu would group all students into clusters of Monday, Tuesday Wednesday and Wednesday Thursday Friday or something like that. This would allow students to work really hard for a few days straight, and then have more efficiently timed free time.

So what did I do on my free day today? I babysitted my niece all day! She's absolutely adorable but I think I've changed enough shit diapers for a lifetime. Well I guess this is growing up.

Attention au Départ!

Direction notre histoire!
(Les Enfoirés - Attention au Départ)

Wallet? Check. Navigo? Check. Messenger bag? Check. And here we go.

Today was the start of a new chapter of my life as I will be attending Le Cordon Bleu’s basic and intermediate cuisine classes over the next 4 months. A year ago, I would not have imagined that I would be attending culinary school in Paris this fall. However, when the opportunity appeared, I just had to take it. The feeling is still quite surreal, but I’m very happy that I’ve made this decision.

In this year, I expect to learn the way of classical French cuisine. I hope to improve my French well enough to engage in a sustained and normal conversation with someone. Finally, I hope to become very familiar with the city of Paris, a city that I have always loved.

The first day of school was, as expected, quite unremarkable. I wish the school would do some things to get students excited about cooking or attending school, such as maybe a half an hour quick simple cooking demo that would serve the function of dazzling students. Instead the day was focused more on registrations and logistics. The most exciting part of the day was when we received our equipment: uniforms, knives and Tupperware. It was quite exciting to have something tangible to try on and carry around. We were repeatedly told to mark every one of our equipment so we would not lose them. Theft is as a matter of fact quite common in LCB.

After a few hours of registrations, tours, and rules (never be late, never enter the kitchen before the chef, never wear school uniform when leaving the school), I went off to a cooking equipment store at Etienne-Marcel to buy my safety shoes, which was the only piece of the uniform that was not supplied by the school. Our first actual cooking class starts tomorrow, and I will be updating this blog as I progress through the class.

Quote of the day:

"No jewlery, no watch, nothing on your hand, except the wedding ring (l'alliance), because those can never come off."-when explaining the dress code of Cordon Bleu

Getting excited with all these new toys.