Someday I'll be living in a big old city, And all you're ever gonna be is mean.

You have knocked me off my feet again got me feeling like I'm nothing.
(Taylor Swift- Mean)

Intermediate Lesson 06- More Fish Stuffing

Today, the Sea Bream returns. This time, we served it with some shrimp forcemeat.

Pow Pow!

We had the wonderful Chef Ju for class today, whom we've met here, here and here. She's one of the sweetest chefs you'd get at Le Cordon Bleu, and I'm just grateful that I had her today, because my Sea bream sucked. The most outrageous thing is that sea breams were an exam dish for basic. I'm just glad that I didn't get that dish.

For this dish, we layered some grounded up shrimp on top of the fish fillet, and then wrapped the whole thing with lettuce. We made some puréed Jerusalem artichoke (which are neither from Jerusalem nor are artichokes). and served it with some diced tomatoes. The chef's comments were: Fish/forecemeat/vegetable was well cooked. Sauce too creamy (I didn't know this would be possible in French cuisine!) and the diced tomatoes should be smaller because they are for presentation.

Now a bit about Chef Ju. As I mentioned in previous posts, she is one of the sweetest chefs on campus, always giving us good and encouraging advice. Which is why it is funny when some Russian TV show that did a program on Le Cordon Bleu decided to brand Chef Ju as the meanest and strictest chef at the school. When our Russian (actually Kaszak, but she married Russian) classmate mentioned it to her, she just blushed and got really embarrassed. And then she got all strict on the student, it was actually quite funny. For the rest of the class, Chef Ju tried to be a lot meaner, though every time she got really strict she would laugh and apologize. "It's because you guys all said I was the meanest! So I gotta be more mean right???" Sorry chef, you're always going to be the nicest chef in the school, and a nice person can never be really mean.

Chef Ju Caught in Action (Photo Credit: Gulnazi. Thanks!)

Newsflash! I did not cut myself either yesterday or today! However, when I changed out of my uniform I noticed a big burn mark on my arm. Strange, because I don't remember burning myself today.

Quotes from this class:

Chef Caals: Martin! You have to come and clean my pan!
Classmate Martin: Wait... you serious?!
Chef Caals: Yes I'm serious! You really need to know how to do everything to survive as a chef. Washing dishes.... cleaning the kitchen.... setting tables..... babysitting..... and occasionally cooking. That's the only way you can prove that you are serious in the kitchen!

 -Demo Chef Caals 

cold calling a hapless student to help him wash his

Sauce pan with butter that he accidentally burnt.

During practical, when Chef Ju walked by my station

Chef Ju: Howard, why do you look so nervous?

Me: Because Chef Ju... I'm afraid my fish stock will not come out right. And you're right next to me!

Chef Ju: Why would you be afraid of that?

Me: Because I overheard that.... that the Russians think you are the meanest chef in the school!

Chef Ju: @#%^$#! WHAT? I'M NOT THAT MEAN !

Me: I know chef. I'm just kidding.

Chef Ju: Well you want to see me mean? Clean your station! What is that stain doing there? Why are there empty pans lying around! DO IT NOW! I'll show you mean!

Me: Oui Chef......

No one fights like Gaston! Douses lights like Gaston!

And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs! So I'm roughly the size of a barge!
(Beauty and the Beast- Gaston)

Intermediate Lesson 05- Burgundy

Our magical Cordon Bleu tour of French regions takes us to Burgundy today, with a dish by the name of "Gaston Gerard" Style Free-Range Chicken with a Morvan-style "Crapiaux."

Pow-pow!

Gaston Gerard was the mayor of Dijon, and this dish was apparently created by his wife in the 1930s. The chicken itself was done pretty simply: pan sear and then braise in the oven. The sauce was a delicious chicken stock mixed with a few spices, cream and mustard. We served the dish with a Morvan style pancake which incorporates potatoes, yeast, herbs and fluffed egg-whites, giving the pancake a particular fluffiness. We also put a herbal salad that I didn't  enjoy eating because the class assistant accidentally brought cilantro instead of parsley to use. I guess it's really my fault since I didn't notice when I mixed the salad. I like cilantro, but not when it is served as a salad.....

The weirdest thing about this dish is that the skin of the chicken is supposed to be taken off the meat before serving, but the skin is the best part of the chicken! Sorry Chef, I'm keeping my chicken skin on. My sauce apparently contains too much mustard, even though I already halved the quantity. My pancake was definitely well done, if I may say so myself. I have to admit, if there is one thing I learned how to cook living in America, it is how to make a good pancake. This pancake is extra fluffy because it's got yeast and egg-whites, similar to the famous pancakes at Clinton St. Baking Company in New York City, making the pancakes extra fluffy.

One thing I noticed about this term is that the demonstration chefs have consistently run out of time. They would go through the dish at a reasonable pace, and then during the last half an hour basically fly through the finish of the dish, which is problematic because a lot of us just get lost at the steps that they skipped or didn't explain. There's a lot of "Now in practical you should cook it that way, but I'm running low on time so we will do it this way." So confusing. I hope this doesn't become a pattern.

Quote from this class:

"At Cordon Bleu, each chef has his way of doing things. You may think it's annoying, but some chefs consider this an advantage. When you leave the school, you'll digest all the information and take the things that suit you most."

-Demo Chef Caals,

after a student complained how chefs constantly gave very

conflicting advice on the "right" way of preparing ingredients

"Every country has its weird thing to eat. In France we have escargots. It's something that many people go 'ew...' when they see it on a plate."

- Demo Chef Caals,

On Escargots

It's Rather Dull in Town I'll Take Me to Paree, hmm

Me Doctor Recommends A Quiet Summer by the Sea, Hmm, Mmm Wouldn't it be loverly?

(My Fair Lady- Wouldn't it be Loverly)

Lesson 3- Normandy

Another day, another 8:30am class. This is compounded by the fact that we've also had 6:30-9:30pm class every day, so by the time I get home and finish dinner it's already time to go to bed.

My schedule for first week of intermediate.

I've complained about our schedule in the beginning of the regular basic class, but on hindsight that was really a small potoato compared to my current schedule. Because I am taking the intensive version of the school, my schedule is now practically air tight. I am really not looking forward to this Thursday and Saturday when I have 12 hours of classes on each day, including back-to-back-to-back classes in the afternoon and evening.

The good thing about starting class this early is I am forced to bike to school in the early morning, which is my favorite time of the day in this city. I'm talking about Paris before 9am, before the scammers, voleurs (thieves), fake-petitioners and tourists mob the city. It's just regular Parisians of all skin color and occupation going to work or minding their own business.

 Rue de Vaugiraud being very quiet at 7am. Quiet streets and crisp morning air.

 My bandaged finger was too thick to fit in the glove.

Anyways back to work. We cooked a pan-roasted ginea fowl for this class, which really just feels like a chicken with tougher meat.

Pow!

The dish is done in a Normandy fashion, meaning we used lots of butter and deglazed with Calvados, a type of apple liqouer that is from Normandy. We also incorporated some apples into the sauce because apples is a local produce. Finally we served some channeled vegetables, which is a way of cutting grooves into vegetables and not what ghosts do to Whoopie Goldberg.

We have Chef Poupard again, who took care of me in the first class after my cut and immediately saw my injured finger today. "ENCORE?!" "Oui Chef...." Anyways, he liked my dish, though he complained that my vegetables were not of the same size, as required, and that my sauce was too concentrated. Oh well, I was operating with one less finger today. Also he said one should never put anything on the rims of the plate, even though Chef Vaca did exactly that in the demo. Also for whatever reason I was stuck with a plate that has a disproportionately large rim. I mean where else am I suppose to put my sauce?

Quote of the class:

Chef Poupard *Pointing at my wrapped finger*: ENCORE?! You cut another finger??

Me: Oui Chef... Encore une fois hier.

Chef Poupard: Unbelievable. Are you married?

Me: Not yet, why Chef?

Chef: You should marry a doctor, it'll do you much good. Incredible...

During demonstration, after I asked 2 pretty dumb questions, I figured I should just shut up. Then I noticed that the chef skipped a step....

Me: Hey Maggie, did Vaca degrease the garnishes?

Classmate Maggie: Oh good point. I don't think so. You should ask.

Me: Nah, I'm done asking questions today.

Maggie: I'll ask. Chef? Did you degrease the pan?

Chef Vaca: Oh...... no, it is um... not necessary. But that was a very good observation madmoiselle. I take note of students being perceptive. Well done.

Me: wtf.......

To be fair, Maggie gave me credit for noticing (THANKS MAGGIE!), and Vaca proceeded in making fun of me for being too afraid of asking questions.

So We Can Have Fun, Fun, Fun, Fun, Fun 'Cause 2 is Better Than 1 1 1 1 1

I see you, you see me, I see her too let's be 3
(Far East Movement- 2 is Better than 1)

Intermediate Lesson 04- Red Mullet

Ooph.... This is the first time that I have two practicals in one day. I'd have to get used to this because this is the norm in Intensive. It's pretty fun because I like practicals, and two is always better than one. It's pretty clear that I'm feeling tired though, because I definitely
1. fell asleep in the demonstration
2. couldn't focus properly during practical

Today was particularly hard because I was still operating with one finger out of commission. The bandage job that I prepared for my Fowl class clearly wasn't sufficient yesterday because it broke down easily halfway through the class. It's just hard to maintain any kind of bandage job in the kitchen because of all the grease/heat/water that you deal with. Just to be extra careful, I used a glove to cover my hand, so now I have a finger guard covered by a glove. Two is better than one right? This system actually works quite well,until the latex glove tears and becomes a water bag that ends up drowning my hand.

We prepared a funky Red Mullet fillet dish served with a black olive tapenade gratin, savory onion "royal" custard, emulsified star anise and parsley sauce. We had to fillet a fish, but not entirely, cut and take out the spine and bones, and then put in the gratin filling into the fish.

Chef's version of the dish.

I blame it on the low quality of our fish because all of our fishes (the chef's included) broke and the fillings started overflowing. My fish in particular was really poorly done, mostly because I still haven't quite mastered searing on a parchment paper. I'll save you from seeing the atrocity that I made. I have to admit the savory onion custard was quite good, though I think I'm the only one in my class to think that way.

The biggest news today was that we had Mr Napoleon Dynamite again, whom I've met here and here. As you may have noticed, I had a very low opinion of him while in Basic. I must admit that he was very reasonable today. At the very least he wasn't downright offensive to students. He also remembered me "Oh you....... Monsieur Howard Kwok who is from Hong Kong but also from America. You're back." Throughout class he asked me how I was doing, and gave me some advice when I asked him what happened to my fish. Finally at the end of the class he went straight to taste my dish first, despite other people finishing before me and were waiting in line for him to grade. "No, I must try Howard's dish first." Thanks Chef.

Quote of this class:

Halfway through demonstration class, the dumb waiter speakerphone rings for the chef
Woman through speakerphone: CHEF! Can you please close the elevator door when you are done?
Chef Poupard: It's closed already Suzanna!
Suzanna: Merci my Chou-chou!
Translator *Laughs: Chou-chou means "Little cabbage," which is what Suzanna likes to call the Chef.
Chef Poupard *Visibly embarrassed: And if I hear any of you repeat that in the school... if I heard anyone call me that in the hallway, I'LL KILL YOU! Remember, only Suzanna can call me that!



"So mesdam, you should be happy to see this. The female dominates the male in this world, for once. For once!"

-Demo Chef Poupard, 

When Explaining the Anatomy of Scallops, which are

 Hermaphrodites with a larger female reproductive organ than male.

The Fundamental Things Apply, As Time Goes By.

It's still the same old story. A fight for love and glory. A case of do or die....
(Frank Sinatra- As Time Goes By)

Intermediate Lesson 02- Cabbage wraps

Our dish today is a Savory cabbage filled with salmon, served with a red wine sauce.

You'll have to imagine the salmon and fillings inside the cabbage.

The dish is pretty delicious, though I personally never liked red wine sauce. The filling consists of a perfectly cooked salmon with delicious bits of bacon, onion, celery and carrots.

The Chef (Need to figure out his name) commented that my fish and garnishes were very good, but that my sauce was too reduced. I guess I'm just always afraid that my sauce is not reduced enough because I have a history of my sauce being too liquid.

The big news today was that I cut myself again! I can count the times I cut myself during basic, but for whatever reason I am now two for two in intermediate. This time was pretty deep- I still remember the feeling of cool metal gliding into my finger, followed by blood splattering all over my uniform. Everywhere I went, there were traces of blood on the floor. I quickly tried to stop the bleeding with paper towels but to no avail even after 3 minutes. The practical brought me to the front desk to treat my wound, and the staff was debating whether they should send me to the hospital because it wouldn't stop bleeding even after a good 10 minutes. "NO!" I insisted that I was fine. "But if it's too deep, you'll need stitches!" The staff insisted.

As they debating about my fate, I started chatting with the receptionist and we discussed what kind of cut I had. She said that it was an émincer, which would imply a straight cut, but I said "nonono it's definitely an escaloper," because it was cut at an offset to my finger. I was about to undo the tape on my finger to prove my point when the debating staffs turned to me.

Ouch... please no condom jokes thank you.
I'm still bleeding after 8 hours. THISISSERIOUS!

The staff could not agree on whether I should go to the hospital, so they asked what I wanted. "Bien sûr je voudrais continuer mon cours." I reiterated. Finally they let me go back to class, where a surprised Chef greeted me in the classroom. Apparantly he already pronounced me dead, and was about to distribute my materials to the rest of the class. I swear if I came back and saw my stuff gone I would have made sure that I was not the only one bleeding. Just kidding......right.

Anyways, I discovered an unexpected benefit of being injured- I can be totally sloppy with my cuts now! Hey! The garnishes are meant to be cut burnoise, which is always the bane of my life. Seriously, I hate burnoise. But now I can cut them any way I want and just say " Mais Chef, j'ai un doigt très blessé!" Hah, nono I still cut my vegetables properly, though maybe a bit larger than required. That I blame on the fact that I lost 15 minutes fixing my finger and so I had to work faster.

At the end of the class, I thanked the Chef for taking care of me and my index finger, and he praised me for coming back to class. He even wrote in french "Had a bad injury but still returned to the classroom. Bravo!" on my grading sheet. Thanks chef. I would never miss a class for something like that. Too bad you're not British, or I'd make a Monty Python reference ("'just a flesh wound").

The key lesson from today is- despite finishing Basic Cuisine at Le Cordon Bleu, one must remember the fundamental skills and remain vigilant when cooking. I admit I was a bit sloppy in holding the celery when I cut myself. Next time, it might be more than just a deep cut. Noted, I'll do better.

To make myself feel better, I went for a late night ramen snack. Nothing makes me feel better than a bowl of noodle soup and beer.

 Now you see it.....

Quote of the day:

"Pulling out the mushroom stem is like pulling a baby teeth- you just need to rock them back and forth gently and they'll pop right off."

-Demo Chef Caals

Don't Stop Me Now! I'm Having Such A Good Time! I'm Having A Ball.

Don't Stop Me Now! If You Wanna Have A Good Time, Just Give Me A Call!
(Queen- Don't Stop Me Now)

Intermediate Lesson 01- Basque Country

I'm so excited to start my intermediate class at Le Cordon Bleu! Basic Cuisine was a blast, and I just want to keep learning more dishes and techniques.

The Cordon Bleu classes in November-December is intensive, meaning that we go more than twice the speed than the regular program. By the end of this week, we will reach lesson 10 (!). The good news is it will be over in less than four weeks. Lets hope I don't get sick or injured during this time.

Anyways, today's dish is a Basque-style Chicken Sauté.

Wham! We served the chicken

The dish incorporates some Esplette pepper, which is from the Basque region. We also served it with a pilaff rice with saffron, sautéed jambon and peppers typical of the Basque region. The bird itself was cooked sear-braised style

Perhaps it's been a long time since I've worked in a high pressure kitchen, or maybe I just suck, but I kept making mistakes in the kitchen. First mistake was I accidentally stabbed my left hand while cutting the raw chicken thigh. I've done this more than a dozen times over the last few months, so how did I screw up? Blood started gushing out and my uniform was all bloody and stained. Luckily, I had Chef Poupard as my practical chef (THANK YOU CHEF GUO FOR TELLING ME HIS NAME), who promptly brought me to the first aid section. The cut itself wasn't that deep, but he very clearly used the same level of focus to meticulously examine my cut and treated it as he used when he plated his dishes during our demonstration, which I really appreciated. This is a solidly good chef who cares about his students.

I thanked him and went back to 2GS to continue cooking. Sadly, I made more mistakes such as browning my vegetables and undercooking my chicken. Sorry chef. I hate disappointing people I look up to.

Surprisingly, Chef Poupard said my chicken was cooked perfectly (despite it being very bloody and red inside). I just don't understand French tolerance for raw meat. His feedback to me were mainly that I should have placed my chicken behind my garnishes so the round shape of the plate can compliment the shape of my chicken. Also he wanted my rice to be cooked softer. I pushed back and said said that I thought we needed our rice Al Dente, but apparently the only type of rice that we cook to Al Dente is Risotto. Everything else should be more douc, softer.

Quotes from this class:

"If I see someone using their cellphone in class..." *PAUSES... then takes out his rolling pin* "Let's just say.... " *Smashes the rolling pin on the table... SMILES* "  I'll smash it into pieces. Or it'll go into the deep fryer."

-Demo Chef Poupard

Setting ground rules on the first demonstration class of the term.

Demo Chef Poupard: How much do you think 10 grams of saffron costs?
Student1: 20 Euros!
Student2: 100 Euros!
Student3: 8 Euros!
Demo Chef Poupard: 8 Euros? Madam! *Runs over to the student and shakes her hand* I will buy 1 kilograms from you for that price and go on vacation!
Answer was around 40 Euros for 10 Grams. Higher quality saffron will cost more.

One Shot! J'attends Toujours Celui Qui Viendra M'étonner!

Mais laisse tomber, et laisse tomber. C'est même plus la peine, c'est même plus la peine
(Maitre Gims feat Dry- One Shot)

Basic Cuisine Exam

After 9 weeks of cooking, cutting and burning, we've finally reached the end of the term. Exams at Cordon Bleu is divided into the written exam, which we had last week, and the practical exam, in which we would be given 10 dishes from our term to study, and then on exam day would be made to 1. write out all the required ingredients and 2. make the dish by heard or "Par cœur!" as the chefs yelled out throughout the term.

The written exam was jokingly easy, if you paid attention to class and then brute force memorize the glossary. It was still a bit challenging because some words were not on the glossary. I still remember freaking out freaking out on page one and thinking"WTF IS A BERCY SAUCE????!? It wasn't on the glossary! OMG IMGONNAFAILLLLL" and then feeling better when the rest of the exam had questions like "The best Parmesan cheese comes from a town in Holland. True / False."

Anyways to the practical exam. On exam day, we each drew a different dish to cook upon entering the kitchen. I drew the rabbit dish, which I guess means I pulled a rabbit out of the hat (hah). We had 15 minutes to fill in the ingredients list of the dish, then they would take away our answer sheet and give us the correct ingredients list, and we would start to cook the dish. We had 2.5 hours to complete the dish, and would have points deducted for every minute more needed. As in regular practical, you are given only enough ingredients to cook the dish, and you have only one shot to do it right.

The entire exam wasn't that difficult, and I was fairly comfortable with the dish. Moreover, the two proctoring chefs present in the practical exam gave a good amount of hints to help you like "Are you sure you want to use veal stock, or would you want to use chicken stock?" or "Hmmm you may want to use this piece of meat that you are discarding..... Just a thought." We were suppose to cook four-people's worth of food, which is different than the one-person portion that normally do in practical. Otherwise, the whole exam was fairly straightforward. I did everything just fine, except I almost forgot to sear the organs of the rabbit. I furiously seared them in the last 10 minutes.

Oh we also had to turn and cook an artichoke, which as you may remember I really didn't want to screw up. I did just fine, no problem at all.

Sorry, I forgot to take a photo of my dish. All I could say is I really liked the sauce that I made. I hope I passed my exam.

Quote from this class:

As I started searing the rabbit pieces halfway through the exam.
Proctor Chef: Hey don't you want to cook the head too? *Points towards the severed rabbit head that I left on my tray*
(In my mind: Shit do I need to cook the head? Shit shit. Not, I remember that we discard the head. But why would the Chef say that? Do I really not cook it? ERMAHGERD!)
Me: No.... I don't think it's fine.
Chef: Yeah it would be weird to serve a cooked head on a plate, wouldn't it?
Me: Well in China, they sometimes serve the pig's head along with the rest of a roast pig.
Chef: Ew really? Anyways, this looks really funny, no? *Picks up head and starts playing with it*
(In my head: Dude, seriously? Now? You're making jokes with a mutilated dead rabbit's head now?)
Me: Oui Chef, très amusant.
Chef: Ah hahahaah doesn't this kind of look like a cat? *Points the severed head at me and wiggles it around, its eyes staring blankly at me*
Me: ha yeah um........... *Continue cutting shallots