In a champagne supernova in the sky....

How many special people change? How many lives are living strange?
(Oasis- Champagne Supernova)

Intermediate Lesson 17- Champagne

Our Grand Tour de France today takes us to Champagne, with its universally acclaimed sparkling wine. We made a braised sole fillet stuffed with fish forcemeat and served with a Champagne sauce and mushroom flan. Oh we also had to "turn" mushrooms, which was the bane of my existence in basic. It is back, and this time there's no escaping.

Insert Explosion Sound

I added some chives for garnishing because the dish looked so drab on its own. I'm really proud to say though that this was one of my best dishes in intermediate. The presentation was fantastic, everything was cooked well. Flavoring was fantastic. The sauce was great, with good acidity and texture. The mushroom flan was yummy. The turned mushrooms could look nicer, but tasted great. I even finished early, and timing has been a consistent issue for me in intermediate. My only weakness was that my station should be cleaner. Dude, I've been told to be more organized since parents-teachers day in grade school. I've long given up being tidy. Thank you very much but I'ma gonna focus more on my strengths than my weaknesses, chef.

All of this masks a fundamental problem of this class: Our soles came filleted. We didn't have to do any of the slicing ourselves. As some of you may know, I've always struggled with filleting a fish. If we had to cut that damn sole, I don't think I would have done nearly as well. This is also an exam dish, and the chef refuses to say whether we will be getting the fillets or a whole fish in the exam.

We had some extra Champagne from this class's leftovers and we definitely finished it off after class. Ahhh nice cold fizzy champagne. Not a bad way to end a practical class! In my old school, this would have been grounds for dismissal, but here even the chef drank with us.

Santè! Chin-chin! Cheers! Salud! Prost! Salute! Pura vida! 飲勝! 干杯 (随意)! Kampai!

Whatever language you speak, the meaning's the same!

Man, it's the Saturday after Thanksgiving, and I don't deny that I'm missing me some old-fashioned all-american capitalistic fist-fighting in the mall for Black Friday sales. I see so many Black Friday deals online that I really wish I could just go help lift the national consumer spending this weekend.

Quote from this class:

Me: Chef, an average egg is 50 grams, and the recipe calls for 175 grams of eggs, do we really need to measure out 3 and a half an egg, or can we just use 4 eggs?
Chef: Well, the truth is, many of these recipes alter their ingredients slightly for copyright reasons. They can't put down the same exact ingredients as other published sources. That's why you sometimes see recipes calling for 2.33grams of salt, when it just means a pinch. So yeah, use 4 eggs. It's just a question of copyrights.
Me: Oui Chef.

"I heard this when I was 20, and I was shocked hearing this at such a young age.... And again.... I'm just passing you a saying that's very well known among French chefs. I didn't make it up, so don't blame me.... They say a cook who doesn't have their dish cloth is like a prostitute without her ass.... yeah, there you have it. That's why all chefs are crazy. We've been pushed and exposed to all sorts of crazy stuff at a young age."

-Chef on explaining why we always need to

carry at least one dish cloth

C'est une belle journée.... Je vais me coucher....

Belle. La vie est belle. Comme une aile. Q'on ne doit froisser
(Mylène Farmer- C'est une belle journée)

Intermediate Lesson 16- Île-de-France

We travel back to the Île-de-France region for this class, which is where Paris is located. Our handout for today says:

Paris and the the [sic] Île-de-France are symbols of gastronomical trandition, reflecting the magnificent work carried out by the master chefs such as Taillevent and Escoffier, not forgetting Carême and the young contemporary chefs of today.

So what dish are we making to honor this symbol of gastronomical tradition? Lamb chops. No actually... lamb stew. Seriously? And this is a dish that some mistress of Louis XVI invented. I think we could have done something a little better. Luckily this dish was freaking delicious.

 Pow Boom!

The dish contains a bunch of thick lamb chops seared for color, and then braised in a stock served with potatoes and onion for 35 minutes. We also served it with a weird leek cannelloni stuffed with mash potatoes. It was so good! I even caught a pastry chef from across the hall stealing my lamb. He said it was delicious and said he was really happy to have chosen my station to take food. I'll take that as a compliment.
 

We had the really cool and chill-lax Chef Gui (pronounced as Gee. Not his last name and short for Guillaume), or Gui-Gui (Gee-Gee) when we asked him if he had a nickname, for class today. He's actually huge enigma. Looking 100% Asian, he has a very french first and last name (starts with a T, and I never remember how to spell the whole thing). And he speaks English with a thick French accent. I though hearing Asians from Edinburgh speaking English with a Scottish accent was weird. Listening to Chef Gui talk blows my mind.

I'm glad we had Chef Gui, because although the daydreaming from this afternoon was gone, I was still pretty out this class. Luckily this class finished early at 8:40pm. Time to head home to lie down and sleep to do laundry, clean my room, write my blog, study and then sleep. It's been a very rough and bizarre 24 hours.

Quote from this class:

Demo Chef Caals: Legend has it that this lamb dish was created by the mistress of Louis XIV. She would use an oven temperature far lower than what we are using(190C), set the dish into the oven for slow cooking, and get naughty with the king while it braised. Frankly I think in reality she never knew how to cook.

A few minutes after we have forgotten this kind-of-weird historical faux-fact

Chef Caals: So put this into the oven for 30-35 minutes.

Male Student: Chef, how long would it take this to cook if we cooked it the way in Louis XIV's time?

Chef Caals: Well, how long do you need to make love?

Male Student: ou-phhh wtf.....

Chef Caals: Answer is I don't know. I really don't. Probably a very long time for it to cook.

Yeah, this conversation would never have happened in America....

I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock! Your peacock, cock!

Come on, baby, let me see what you're hiding underneath

(Katy Perry- Peacock)

Intermediate Lesson 15- Berry

For reasons I don't want to go into, I had a pretty messed up night last night that resulted in having an alcohol-induced lack of sleep (less than 3 if you don't count the terrible sleep I had on the Eurostar). We had the day off yesterday and I went to London. Because of a situation I was kept up until 4 am despite having a 7 am international train ride. Oh and in my drunken state I thought it would be a good idea to wake up at 6:30am. So I had half an hour to get dress/pack/check out/hail a cab/go to St. Pancras/ go through security / go through UK and French border control/ board my train. Luckily I made it on my train at 6:59. The result was a head-splitting, earth-spinning, daydreaming Chef Kwok in practical.

Good thing that the dish was fairly simple. We prepared a Coq au Vin dish from the Berry region, which is a place that you probably wouldn't even stop for gas on your French road trips. Although this was a Coq au Vin, the school didn't give us roosters to play with because those would take too long to cook. Instead we cooked with normal chicken.

 

Boom Pow!

The dish was pre-marinated for us by the preparation staff (thank you!), and so the chicken was soaked for over a day in red wine by the time we got our materials. The whole thing was pretty simple. Pan sear the chicken so they get nicely browned, and then cook the thing in the liquid with some aromatic garnishes in the oven at 200C. We served it with some crutons, fried bacon and wine-pickled onions.

Ughh we have another 2 more classes coming up right after this.

Quotes from this class:

After preparing a meat pie in demo class (that we sadly did not make)

Demo Chef Vaca: We are going to let you take photos of the pate first, since we'll have to cut it to serve you.

STUDENTS MAD DASH TO TAKE PICTURES OF THE PATE

Chef Vaca: No wait. I need to put it on a presentation plate! No! Stop! Don't take photos of it on a baking sheet! You are just like my adolescent children! Go away!

Students continue taking pictures.

But we've got the biggest balls of all!

I've got big balls! I've got big balls!
(ACDC- Big Balls)

Intermediate Lesson 14- Lamb Fillet

Our dish today is a lamb fillet served with vegetables and fried potato balls.

Boom!

It was actually a fairly straightforward dish. We had to cut the lamb fillet from the rack of lamb, and I continue to lament on how wasteful haut-cuisine is in France. Clawing down the bone is the best part of eating a lamb rack! Why would you deny your customers the pleasure of dirtying their fingers to eat from the delicious bones??

The fun part of today was creating the potato balls that you see on the right side. We lierally took our melon ballers and dug out perfectly good-looking round balls from whole potatos and then fried them. They're so delicious. Chef Caals thinks that I haven't seasoned the balls enough, but by this point I just think the French and I have artistic differences when it comes to seasoning. What was left were potatoes with beehive-like holes all over them. Perfect for making mash-potatoes.

Hint: it is always better to blanch your potatoes first before frying them. If you simply fry them directly then you always end up the core being undercooked and crispy. Blanching them a few minutes first precooks the potato, so that after you fry the potatoes they would be cooked thoroughly. Salt the water when you blanch them.

We also got to play with these big metal molds to plate our dish. This is why I arrange my lamb and make it look so nice!

Quote from this class

"Jean-Baptiste Denys was the first doctor in history to have performed a blood transfusion on a person, using lamb blood. It' didn't work....."

-Demo Chef Caals

On blood transfusions. I don't remember how we started on

this subject.....

Oh girl, when I'm in love with you, Keep fishin' if you feel it's true.....

You'll never do, The things you want, If you don't move, And get a job
(Weezer- Keep Fishin')

Intermediate Lesson 13- Alsace

Our dish for this class is a filleted trout stuffed with morel mushrooms.

 Chef's version

 My version. Isn't it nearly identical?

I still suck at filleting a fish. It's definitely no longer like my first experience when I nearly destroyed the fish, but I'm still not quite there yet. I'm so glad I didn't get a fish for my basic exam. The trout was probably the easiest fish I've filleted, but then I discovered that the fish has an infinite number of bones piercing out of its flesh to be taken out one by one.

Honestly the dish is not that exciting, except for the UFO pebble shaped carrots that we had to turn.

Yep this is definitely NOT done by me.

What's more exciting is the region that we covered: Alsace. They say Strasbourg is one of the most beautiful cities in the world during Christmas. Personally I really want to go check it out this year, maybe after my exams. Any one want to go with me?

We had a new chef today for our practical. Chef Andriamanjoka hails from Madagascar and looks like he came straight out of a Paul Gaugain painting. He was really good to work with.

The Chef.

Quotes from this class:

Demo Chef Poupard: Kouglof is another type of legume (vegetable) that people eat in Alsace
Student: Wait, Kouglof, isn't that a kind of pastry or cake?
Chef: Yes, it's made from a dough.
Student: Then it is not a legume! It's not grown!
Chef: Mais oui! It is a type of made legume!
Student: Well is pretzel a legume?
Chef: It can be! Look I'm using the word legume generally to refer to garnishes. These kind of items can be generically called a legume if they are served as a garnish to a main dish. Understand?
Student: .....

When demonstrating how to prepare the trout
Student: Chef, do we need to take the eyes out of the trout, like we do with other fishes?
Demon Chef Poupard: Non, ce n'est pas la peine. It doesn't matter. We'll leave it on the fish so it can see better.
Chef Poupard was referring to the dead trout that he just filleted and boned.

Well hi, welcome to MeatShake where you can 'taste the secret.'

It's nice and tender. Mixed in a blender. Don't you want some meat? (Yeah)
( Ugly Duckling- Meat Shake)

Intermediate Lesson 12- Making Sausages and Gels.

We continued with the balloutine that we worked on yesterday. Taking the braising liquid we made yetserday, we clarified it and turned it into a gel.

Chef Poupard's Jelly, served with a piece of the balloutine

This is how our dish should theoretically look like

To clarify a stock, you simply take a stock and add eggwhites and grounded meat into the simmering liquid. The eggwhites and the blood from the meat will act to hold all the impurities and rise to the surface when cooked. The key is to not let the liquid boil vigorously, or the impurities will become incorporated into the liquid, and you'll never have a fully clear soup, or specifically, consommé soup.

Then to turn it into a jelly, simply add a lot of gelatin leaves into the soup, boil, pour onto a surface, and let the surface cool in the fridge. Gelatin leaves are derived from the gelatin in bone marrow. The thing is, you need to let the liquid cool substantially before the jelly will solidify. The chef in demonstration has a fancy blast chiller that brings the temperature down to -30C, but we only had regular fridges in our practical rooms, and none of our jelly solidified enough.

We also made sausages today! Basically we grounded a bunch of meat together, added a lot of cream, and then filled it into the intestines of a lamb (ew). When done correctly, the filling liquid looked really disgustingly pink and liquid, like a meat milk shake.

Chef Poupard letting the pink meatshake flow smoothly into the intestine casing.

The good thing is, the filling liquid turns white after cooking. If you ever plan on making this yourself, just remember that the cooking liquid that you poach the sausage in can never go past 85C, or the casing will break. Also avoid having air pockets when filling the casing, or it will explode.

Et Voila!

Quotes from this class:

Demo Chef Poupard: Voila, our filling is now well blended in the blender *Pours out a gooey pink liquid of meat shake

Students: Ewww!

Chef Poupard: Oh come on! You guys see this kind of stuff every Saturday night, after a few rounds at the bar!

Students: Ewww!

Ay-ee Ay-ee Ayee I'm your little butterfly...

Green black and blue make the colors in the sky...
(SMiLE.dk- Butterfly)

Lesson 11- Chicken Stuffed meat

Ooph another 4 class day. We are now one week into the intermediate intensive class, and we are already on lesson 11.

We prepared half a dish for this class, a chicken stuffed with foie gras mousse and pistachios called a ballotine, along with practicing how to make hollandaise sauce, which we've made before in basic. Therefore, sorry, but there's no pretty dish photos for this class. Here's a picture of my hollandaise.

Pew Pew!

The school didn't provide a recipe for the hollandaise sauce, and honestly I don't remember how to make one at all. I remember that you put in lemon, because last time I added too much lemon. I think eggs are involved because we have to emulsify it with some kind of fat, clarified butter I think? Also I remember we have to heat it over a bain-marie while whisking it until our arms come off. But I had no idea about the proportions. Oh it's 3 egg YOLKs, not regular eggs. And what? Cayenne pepper involved? Do we need to season it with salt? I wa so confused. Apparently the hot water I had in my bain-marie was not hot enough, and I whisk a long time for my eggs to become ready. It should turn from a bubbly texture to a creamy smooth texture. Then you take it off heat and whisk in clarified butter very (very) slowly. I've never knowingly eaten Hollandaise sauce outside of cooking school, and I really didn't know what kind of flavor we were aiming for, so I asked my friendly neighbor Christian to taste my sauce. " Hmm needs more lemon." "Really? I put in less lemon this time because last time I put in too much." "Yeah it's too buttery right now." So I went off to find any lemon juice I could find. Since all of my classmates have used their lemon, I had to scavenge for any residual juice on the used lemons, which gave very little juice. When Chef Ju tasted my sauce, she said it was "too much lemon." Great. Second attempt, same result.

We spent most of our time preparing our stuffed chicken. The trick was to cut out all of the meat of the chicken from the top (spine) of the chicken, instead of the breast side where we always started from, and try to keep the entire chicken meat in one piece. We then took out the leg and wing bones. That was pretty cool. It's like taking off the meaty jacket of the bird. When I spread the single piece of boneless chicken on the table, it looked like a butterfly and was quite beautiful in a macabre way. Oh god I sound like that creepy dude from American Beauty.

Anyways, we wrapped pork forcemeat and pistachio into the chicken, with a long piece of foie gras in the middle, and rolled it like a maki roll, then cooked it in a court bouillon. The process should take at least 1.5 hours, but I only had time to boil it for 1 hour. At 45 minutes my internal temperature was still at 59C, when the target temperature was 65C. I really hope the extra 15 minutes in the water was sufficient to bring up the temperature. We will return to the dish tomorrow.

Wrapping the top of my stock pot with tin foil to maintain the temp.

Hopefully the chicken will keep cooking inside. Hopefully..

The biggest surprise today was actually how we received the chicken. As mentioned, I feel pretty comfortable with preping a bird by now. However, the chicken we received today still had its head attached, and its internal organs completely where they are not suppose to be. I therefore had to chop off its head, deal with its trachea, and stick my hand up its @$$ and pull out all of its organs anal-probe style. At least it's already plucked and bled. This is before you do any of the other required steps in preping a chicken.

Is it looking at me??

As mentioned, we will return to this dish tomorrow.

Quote from this class:

Midway though demo class:

Student 1 talking on the side during class: Is the French word for ambulance ambulance? Or Smur?

Demo Chef Poupard: Nonononononononono! Ambulance, c'est ambulce en français, not Smur!

Student 1: Really? Are you sure?

Chef Poupard: Yes, I am very sure. There are two meanings of ambulance, ambulance for transporting supplies and ambulance for transporting people. Both are for medical related reasons.

Student 1: Then what is a Smur?

Chef Poupard: Smur has a doctor on board. Ambulance don't.

Student 2: Why are we talking about ambulances in the middle of class????

Chef Poupard felt pretty strongly about this subject because he used to be a fireman, and firemen in France have ambulance responsibilities as well.

Now I'm gonna be okay Yeah! It's a party in the USA!

So I put my hands up, They're playin' my song, The butterflies fly away!
(Miley Cyrus- Party in the USA)

Intermediate Lesson 10- Lobster

Our dish today was Lobster à la américaine served with a rice with raisins.

So the story of the américaine sauce was that there were some clients who went to a restaurant, and the chef had nothing but lobster and some garnishes for a mirepoix, so he made an ad-hoc dish by poaching the claws in a court bouillon, sautéing the lobster tail ,and using the juice from the lobster and coral as a base for the sauce. When I asked if the clients were Americans (hence the name américaine) Chef Poupard replied "I have no idea, maybe?" Great happy ending to the story chef.

Anyways, I'm really glad to have cooked a lobster. I've only prepared a lobster once years ago, and by "prepared" I mean my friend did all the work while I stood and watched. Lobster's one of my favorite things to eat and I'm very happy to learn how to handle onel. I picked a livelier one from our supply box because most of the other ones seemed dead and I wanted a good one.

My lobster in defense mode. Notice the curled up tail.

My group mate demonstrating how to quickly and 

humanely end the life of a lobster

Sadly, I probably got too carried away, because I had some timing problems that led to my meat being cold when I served it to the chef. He commented on how the lobster should be more than room temperature, and how my claws were too dry by the time he tasted it. Really what I should do is right before serving throwing the lobster meat into the sauce to quickly warm them up and moist them. Also, he believed that I should serve with the lobster shell pointing downwards so the fleshy part (we cut out the bottom shell) could be exposed to make the life of our clients easier. Noted chef. Rice was cooked well though.

This is the first class when we finished early with almost an hour to spare. Coupled by the fact that this was morning class, and we had a one hour break before our 12:30pm class, this meant that we had a good 2 hours to rest. Unprecedented, and very much appreciated since today is another 4 class day. I went to a café outside of school that I frequented and had a cup of café au lait.

Right outside of the Vaugirard Metro station

Convenient, simple and perfect for people watching.

One class down and three more to go! For today.

Totally random fact: Lobster is one of two words that my mom knows in French, because it's my name with the W reversed. Howard > homard. The other french word she knows is "sale," which is soldes.

Quote for this class:

Chef Poupard: So to kill the lobster, just simply stab your lobster right here in the head, it'll die instantly. And then you can start taking its claws out.
Student: So is it dead dead?
Chef Poupard: Yes, but it might still look like it's a live because it'll still move.
Student: Eww! So isn't that inhumane to pull out its claws?
Chef Poupard: No because it's dead!

Red red wine you make me feel so fine You keep me rocking all of the time...

Red red wine you make me feel so sad, Any time I see you go it makes me feel bad
(UB40- Red Red Wine)

Intermediate Lesson 09- Bordelais

We now go a little up North from Landes to Bordeaux. Ahh Bordeaux, the grands vins, the oysters from Arcachon, the truffles of Perigord, the ducks and poultry..... This is definitely my favorite region of France. Our dish today is magret de canard, which we've used before in basic, and is by far my favorite slice of meat, which we served with a Bordelais sauce. Bordelais is a red wine based sauce that I'm not quite a fan of, but I'd eat a good slice of magret de canard with anything.

Pow Pow! Pow!

This time we got the duck breasts directly, so we didn't need to prep (or habiller, "dress," as the french would say) the bird. We simply had to pan sear the meat, which takes quite long actually because of how thick the meat is, and then cook the jus. The fondant potato rounds actually took the longest. We had to turn the potatoes, friy them until they are slightly colored, then braise them in chicken stock in the oven until all the liquid is gone. It's a complete pain.

This was also one of the first classes in a while that I didn't feel completely lost in the practical, mostly because I didn't fall asleep in the demo. The intensive schedule has been really difficult, as I would have class all day, get home at around 10, maybe eat dinner, and then do some errands, write my blog, PERHAPS (but likely not) study a bit, sleep at 1, and then wake up at 6:30 for class again. On Thursday, I definitely fell asleep in practical, and the result was my notes were a complete mess. Even on Friday, when I didn't think I fell asleep, I would step into the practical class and have no recollection of steps required to prepare a certain dish. I must have had my eyes open and still writing notes while sleeping, because I at least had the steps written on my notes despite having no memory of watching these steps. As you may know, Cordon Bleu doesn't provide recipes, just ingredients lists, and students must learn the cooking method from the demonstration classes. Falling asleep in demo regularly, therefore, would make practical classes very difficult to follow.

Well yesterday I went home at around 10:30pm (after grabbing one drink with some friends), took a shower and went straight to bed. Today I woke up at 7am, which is later than my usual 6:30am. The end result was I felt so refreshed and could focus better. Hopefully I can keep this going.

Somehow I didn't write down any quotes for today. Oh well. There's enough entries every day these days to keep you entertained. Stay tuned for next entry!

Ten thousand men of Harvard want vict'ry today!

Ten thousand men of Harvard gained vict'ry today!
(Harvard University- Ten Thousand Men of Harvard)

Intermediate Lesson 08- Savory Pies

Today's the annual Harvard-Yale Football game (The Game), which takes place every year the Saturday before Thanksgiving. I've never been a football fan, and Harvard's famous for having a lack of school spirit, but The Game is generally the one time in each year when we pretended that we actually had a normal college life and when we gathered together to watch two really bad football teams demonstrate who is less incompetent. I'm not even that excited about Harvard-Yale. I just can't think of a song for today's title.

Anyways, we made a Guinea Fowl Pie in class.

 

"H" is my "Starbucks Name"  in France because people here seem to have 

trouble spelling the word " 'ou-ard." It also sounds cool in French: Ash

Another day, another bird. By this point, we've already dealt with 4 birds in my first week in intermediate. The steps have become rather instinctive now: blowtorch (yes) the bird to burn off residual feathers > Wipe the bird clean > Cut out wish bone > Cut out gland from the bird's ass tail > Pull out the tendons from the bird's feet > Chop off legs >Cut off wings > Check insides to see if there are any organs remaining > if trachea is still present, cut it out. From then on, you either fillet the bird or truss it with a string. There. Quite simple and straightforward whether it is a chicken, fowl or duck, right?

We grinded the fowl's meat with some pork and lard, and the stuffed it in the pie.

Base layer= pieces of potato poached to soft but still firm, used to absorb moisture
First layer= grounded fowl+pork forcemeat, raw
Second layer= escaloped seared chicken liver, still blood red inside
Third layer= some forcemeat for layering
Fourth layer= escaloped fowl breast fillet, seared but raw on the inside
Top layer= residual forcemeat to top it out.
Bake for around 40-50 minutes, until internal temperature reaches 65C
Take fowl carcasse and bone pieces and make a jus. Once the jus has reduced to a syrupy texture, you can either pour it into the pie via the hole in the middle, or serve it on the side for dipping.

Personally, the biggest takeaway for me this class is understanding why there is always a cherry on top of every pie I see in cartoons as a kid: The cherry is there to hide the ventilation hole that we made to let steam out, or else the pie will explode in the oven! This is why I love cooking school. It has been solving so many life mysteries.

Quote from this class:

"Once you've achieved a certain kind of rigidity, you should begin kneading your dough on the table by hand like this..... And mesdames et messieurs, just as when you go to the beach and meet an exotic Brazilian, the next you know a baby is born!" *Smacks the ball of dough on the table*

-Demo Chef Caals

when demonstrating how 

to properly make the tart dough

When explaining food preservation techniques, Chef Poupard asked if we had any questions.
Me: Oui chef, why do the French always.....
Chef Poupard *Laughs hilariously*: AHHAHAH Yes! I love how you opened your question. Please please let me know which bizarre thing that we French people do you would like to understand.
Me: Well, umm okay. Why do you guys never put eggs into the fridge??? It's so weird!
Chef Poupard: Because it does nothing to the egg! You do not prolong the shelf life of eggs by putting them in the fridge.
Me: Wait... no really?
Chef Poupard: Really. You're just wasting your electricity bill if you refrigerate them.
Me: Then why do we put eggs in the fridge in our practical classes?
Chef Poupard: It's because we don't have any space on the tables.
Me: This can't be possible
Helpful Classmate: I think it's because in Europe eggs are not washed or treated as they do in America, so they have a natural membrane in their outer layer that protects it from bacteria.
Me: oic

Don't wake me I plan on sleeping in....

Last week I had the strangest dream, Where everything was exactly how it seemed...
(The Postal Service - Sleeping In)

Intermediate Lesson 07- The South-West, Landes

Ahhh, the first day of my intensive intermediate experience when I don't have a 8:30am class. Intensive intermediate has been rough not only because we go so quickly and have two practical classes all the time, but also because we've had multiple days that end at 9:30pm followed by class at 8:30am the next day. This means that by the time I get home, eat dinner, shower and finish some basic errands (and write this blog), It's already 1am, and I have to wake up at 6:30 the next day. Having the morning off, therefore, is very much cherished and appreciated now because we could all sleep in and roll out late in the morning for our 12:30pm class.

So did I take a gloriously long sleep in today? No, because before I knew that I would be exhausted by Friday, I volunteered to baby-sit my niece Clementine and to take her to day care in the morning, so I ended up waking up at 8am anyways. She's totally worth it though.

I hope we can become best friends when you grow up kiddo!

Today, we roasted a duck "salmis".

 Boom!

We each got a whole duck to play with, and this thing is kind of like a fattened up chicken with more residual feathers to deal with (it's already plucked and gutted by the time we received them, don't worry).  This dish was pretty straight forward. After roasting the whole duck in the oven we cut out the thighs to poach in its own jus, but continued to cook the duck breast in the oven. So the two pieces of meat you see in the photo was prepared slightly differently.

We served the dish wish some black trumpet mushrooms, button mushrooms, bacon bits and Roman Gnocchi, which is made with milk, semolina, egg yolk and parmesan cheese. My gnocchi actually was a surprise, as the texture came out really well. The problem was that when I rolled out the gnocchi dough, it was way softer than I expected, and so when I flattened it with a rolling pin it became way too thin too fast. The gnocchi should be at least 1 inch thick, but aside from that they were very well cooked.

Quote from this class:

Demo Chef Poupard: Pigeons, you can get them really fresh from most butchers here. I would not recommend you catching a pigeon on the streets of Paris. Also, you really shouldn't feed the pigeons on the street....

Chef Stril (Shouting across the hall from another room, and totally out of nowhere): So you mean you hate animals?? Why are you so mean to them?

Chef Poupard *Roll eyes*: It has nothing to do with being nice or mean to them! It is illegal to feed pigeons in France and you can be fined for up to 450 euros!

Someday I'll be living in a big old city, And all you're ever gonna be is mean.

You have knocked me off my feet again got me feeling like I'm nothing.
(Taylor Swift- Mean)

Intermediate Lesson 06- More Fish Stuffing

Today, the Sea Bream returns. This time, we served it with some shrimp forcemeat.

Pow Pow!

We had the wonderful Chef Ju for class today, whom we've met here, here and here. She's one of the sweetest chefs you'd get at Le Cordon Bleu, and I'm just grateful that I had her today, because my Sea bream sucked. The most outrageous thing is that sea breams were an exam dish for basic. I'm just glad that I didn't get that dish.

For this dish, we layered some grounded up shrimp on top of the fish fillet, and then wrapped the whole thing with lettuce. We made some puréed Jerusalem artichoke (which are neither from Jerusalem nor are artichokes). and served it with some diced tomatoes. The chef's comments were: Fish/forecemeat/vegetable was well cooked. Sauce too creamy (I didn't know this would be possible in French cuisine!) and the diced tomatoes should be smaller because they are for presentation.

Now a bit about Chef Ju. As I mentioned in previous posts, she is one of the sweetest chefs on campus, always giving us good and encouraging advice. Which is why it is funny when some Russian TV show that did a program on Le Cordon Bleu decided to brand Chef Ju as the meanest and strictest chef at the school. When our Russian (actually Kaszak, but she married Russian) classmate mentioned it to her, she just blushed and got really embarrassed. And then she got all strict on the student, it was actually quite funny. For the rest of the class, Chef Ju tried to be a lot meaner, though every time she got really strict she would laugh and apologize. "It's because you guys all said I was the meanest! So I gotta be more mean right???" Sorry chef, you're always going to be the nicest chef in the school, and a nice person can never be really mean.

Chef Ju Caught in Action (Photo Credit: Gulnazi. Thanks!)

Newsflash! I did not cut myself either yesterday or today! However, when I changed out of my uniform I noticed a big burn mark on my arm. Strange, because I don't remember burning myself today.

Quotes from this class:

Chef Caals: Martin! You have to come and clean my pan!
Classmate Martin: Wait... you serious?!
Chef Caals: Yes I'm serious! You really need to know how to do everything to survive as a chef. Washing dishes.... cleaning the kitchen.... setting tables..... babysitting..... and occasionally cooking. That's the only way you can prove that you are serious in the kitchen!

 -Demo Chef Caals 

cold calling a hapless student to help him wash his

Sauce pan with butter that he accidentally burnt.

During practical, when Chef Ju walked by my station

Chef Ju: Howard, why do you look so nervous?

Me: Because Chef Ju... I'm afraid my fish stock will not come out right. And you're right next to me!

Chef Ju: Why would you be afraid of that?

Me: Because I overheard that.... that the Russians think you are the meanest chef in the school!

Chef Ju: @#%^$#! WHAT? I'M NOT THAT MEAN !

Me: I know chef. I'm just kidding.

Chef Ju: Well you want to see me mean? Clean your station! What is that stain doing there? Why are there empty pans lying around! DO IT NOW! I'll show you mean!

Me: Oui Chef......

No one fights like Gaston! Douses lights like Gaston!

And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs! So I'm roughly the size of a barge!
(Beauty and the Beast- Gaston)

Intermediate Lesson 05- Burgundy

Our magical Cordon Bleu tour of French regions takes us to Burgundy today, with a dish by the name of "Gaston Gerard" Style Free-Range Chicken with a Morvan-style "Crapiaux."

Pow-pow!

Gaston Gerard was the mayor of Dijon, and this dish was apparently created by his wife in the 1930s. The chicken itself was done pretty simply: pan sear and then braise in the oven. The sauce was a delicious chicken stock mixed with a few spices, cream and mustard. We served the dish with a Morvan style pancake which incorporates potatoes, yeast, herbs and fluffed egg-whites, giving the pancake a particular fluffiness. We also put a herbal salad that I didn't  enjoy eating because the class assistant accidentally brought cilantro instead of parsley to use. I guess it's really my fault since I didn't notice when I mixed the salad. I like cilantro, but not when it is served as a salad.....

The weirdest thing about this dish is that the skin of the chicken is supposed to be taken off the meat before serving, but the skin is the best part of the chicken! Sorry Chef, I'm keeping my chicken skin on. My sauce apparently contains too much mustard, even though I already halved the quantity. My pancake was definitely well done, if I may say so myself. I have to admit, if there is one thing I learned how to cook living in America, it is how to make a good pancake. This pancake is extra fluffy because it's got yeast and egg-whites, similar to the famous pancakes at Clinton St. Baking Company in New York City, making the pancakes extra fluffy.

One thing I noticed about this term is that the demonstration chefs have consistently run out of time. They would go through the dish at a reasonable pace, and then during the last half an hour basically fly through the finish of the dish, which is problematic because a lot of us just get lost at the steps that they skipped or didn't explain. There's a lot of "Now in practical you should cook it that way, but I'm running low on time so we will do it this way." So confusing. I hope this doesn't become a pattern.

Quote from this class:

"At Cordon Bleu, each chef has his way of doing things. You may think it's annoying, but some chefs consider this an advantage. When you leave the school, you'll digest all the information and take the things that suit you most."

-Demo Chef Caals,

after a student complained how chefs constantly gave very

conflicting advice on the "right" way of preparing ingredients

"Every country has its weird thing to eat. In France we have escargots. It's something that many people go 'ew...' when they see it on a plate."

- Demo Chef Caals,

On Escargots

It's Rather Dull in Town I'll Take Me to Paree, hmm

Me Doctor Recommends A Quiet Summer by the Sea, Hmm, Mmm Wouldn't it be loverly?

(My Fair Lady- Wouldn't it be Loverly)

Lesson 3- Normandy

Another day, another 8:30am class. This is compounded by the fact that we've also had 6:30-9:30pm class every day, so by the time I get home and finish dinner it's already time to go to bed.

My schedule for first week of intermediate.

I've complained about our schedule in the beginning of the regular basic class, but on hindsight that was really a small potoato compared to my current schedule. Because I am taking the intensive version of the school, my schedule is now practically air tight. I am really not looking forward to this Thursday and Saturday when I have 12 hours of classes on each day, including back-to-back-to-back classes in the afternoon and evening.

The good thing about starting class this early is I am forced to bike to school in the early morning, which is my favorite time of the day in this city. I'm talking about Paris before 9am, before the scammers, voleurs (thieves), fake-petitioners and tourists mob the city. It's just regular Parisians of all skin color and occupation going to work or minding their own business.

 Rue de Vaugiraud being very quiet at 7am. Quiet streets and crisp morning air.

 My bandaged finger was too thick to fit in the glove.

Anyways back to work. We cooked a pan-roasted ginea fowl for this class, which really just feels like a chicken with tougher meat.

Pow!

The dish is done in a Normandy fashion, meaning we used lots of butter and deglazed with Calvados, a type of apple liqouer that is from Normandy. We also incorporated some apples into the sauce because apples is a local produce. Finally we served some channeled vegetables, which is a way of cutting grooves into vegetables and not what ghosts do to Whoopie Goldberg.

We have Chef Poupard again, who took care of me in the first class after my cut and immediately saw my injured finger today. "ENCORE?!" "Oui Chef...." Anyways, he liked my dish, though he complained that my vegetables were not of the same size, as required, and that my sauce was too concentrated. Oh well, I was operating with one less finger today. Also he said one should never put anything on the rims of the plate, even though Chef Vaca did exactly that in the demo. Also for whatever reason I was stuck with a plate that has a disproportionately large rim. I mean where else am I suppose to put my sauce?

Quote of the class:

Chef Poupard *Pointing at my wrapped finger*: ENCORE?! You cut another finger??

Me: Oui Chef... Encore une fois hier.

Chef Poupard: Unbelievable. Are you married?

Me: Not yet, why Chef?

Chef: You should marry a doctor, it'll do you much good. Incredible...

During demonstration, after I asked 2 pretty dumb questions, I figured I should just shut up. Then I noticed that the chef skipped a step....

Me: Hey Maggie, did Vaca degrease the garnishes?

Classmate Maggie: Oh good point. I don't think so. You should ask.

Me: Nah, I'm done asking questions today.

Maggie: I'll ask. Chef? Did you degrease the pan?

Chef Vaca: Oh...... no, it is um... not necessary. But that was a very good observation madmoiselle. I take note of students being perceptive. Well done.

Me: wtf.......

To be fair, Maggie gave me credit for noticing (THANKS MAGGIE!), and Vaca proceeded in making fun of me for being too afraid of asking questions.

So We Can Have Fun, Fun, Fun, Fun, Fun 'Cause 2 is Better Than 1 1 1 1 1

I see you, you see me, I see her too let's be 3
(Far East Movement- 2 is Better than 1)

Intermediate Lesson 04- Red Mullet

Ooph.... This is the first time that I have two practicals in one day. I'd have to get used to this because this is the norm in Intensive. It's pretty fun because I like practicals, and two is always better than one. It's pretty clear that I'm feeling tired though, because I definitely
1. fell asleep in the demonstration
2. couldn't focus properly during practical

Today was particularly hard because I was still operating with one finger out of commission. The bandage job that I prepared for my Fowl class clearly wasn't sufficient yesterday because it broke down easily halfway through the class. It's just hard to maintain any kind of bandage job in the kitchen because of all the grease/heat/water that you deal with. Just to be extra careful, I used a glove to cover my hand, so now I have a finger guard covered by a glove. Two is better than one right? This system actually works quite well,until the latex glove tears and becomes a water bag that ends up drowning my hand.

We prepared a funky Red Mullet fillet dish served with a black olive tapenade gratin, savory onion "royal" custard, emulsified star anise and parsley sauce. We had to fillet a fish, but not entirely, cut and take out the spine and bones, and then put in the gratin filling into the fish.

Chef's version of the dish.

I blame it on the low quality of our fish because all of our fishes (the chef's included) broke and the fillings started overflowing. My fish in particular was really poorly done, mostly because I still haven't quite mastered searing on a parchment paper. I'll save you from seeing the atrocity that I made. I have to admit the savory onion custard was quite good, though I think I'm the only one in my class to think that way.

The biggest news today was that we had Mr Napoleon Dynamite again, whom I've met here and here. As you may have noticed, I had a very low opinion of him while in Basic. I must admit that he was very reasonable today. At the very least he wasn't downright offensive to students. He also remembered me "Oh you....... Monsieur Howard Kwok who is from Hong Kong but also from America. You're back." Throughout class he asked me how I was doing, and gave me some advice when I asked him what happened to my fish. Finally at the end of the class he went straight to taste my dish first, despite other people finishing before me and were waiting in line for him to grade. "No, I must try Howard's dish first." Thanks Chef.

Quote of this class:

Halfway through demonstration class, the dumb waiter speakerphone rings for the chef
Woman through speakerphone: CHEF! Can you please close the elevator door when you are done?
Chef Poupard: It's closed already Suzanna!
Suzanna: Merci my Chou-chou!
Translator *Laughs: Chou-chou means "Little cabbage," which is what Suzanna likes to call the Chef.
Chef Poupard *Visibly embarrassed: And if I hear any of you repeat that in the school... if I heard anyone call me that in the hallway, I'LL KILL YOU! Remember, only Suzanna can call me that!



"So mesdam, you should be happy to see this. The female dominates the male in this world, for once. For once!"

-Demo Chef Poupard, 

When Explaining the Anatomy of Scallops, which are

 Hermaphrodites with a larger female reproductive organ than male.

The Fundamental Things Apply, As Time Goes By.

It's still the same old story. A fight for love and glory. A case of do or die....
(Frank Sinatra- As Time Goes By)

Intermediate Lesson 02- Cabbage wraps

Our dish today is a Savory cabbage filled with salmon, served with a red wine sauce.

You'll have to imagine the salmon and fillings inside the cabbage.

The dish is pretty delicious, though I personally never liked red wine sauce. The filling consists of a perfectly cooked salmon with delicious bits of bacon, onion, celery and carrots.

The Chef (Need to figure out his name) commented that my fish and garnishes were very good, but that my sauce was too reduced. I guess I'm just always afraid that my sauce is not reduced enough because I have a history of my sauce being too liquid.

The big news today was that I cut myself again! I can count the times I cut myself during basic, but for whatever reason I am now two for two in intermediate. This time was pretty deep- I still remember the feeling of cool metal gliding into my finger, followed by blood splattering all over my uniform. Everywhere I went, there were traces of blood on the floor. I quickly tried to stop the bleeding with paper towels but to no avail even after 3 minutes. The practical brought me to the front desk to treat my wound, and the staff was debating whether they should send me to the hospital because it wouldn't stop bleeding even after a good 10 minutes. "NO!" I insisted that I was fine. "But if it's too deep, you'll need stitches!" The staff insisted.

As they debating about my fate, I started chatting with the receptionist and we discussed what kind of cut I had. She said that it was an émincer, which would imply a straight cut, but I said "nonono it's definitely an escaloper," because it was cut at an offset to my finger. I was about to undo the tape on my finger to prove my point when the debating staffs turned to me.

Ouch... please no condom jokes thank you.
I'm still bleeding after 8 hours. THISISSERIOUS!

The staff could not agree on whether I should go to the hospital, so they asked what I wanted. "Bien sûr je voudrais continuer mon cours." I reiterated. Finally they let me go back to class, where a surprised Chef greeted me in the classroom. Apparantly he already pronounced me dead, and was about to distribute my materials to the rest of the class. I swear if I came back and saw my stuff gone I would have made sure that I was not the only one bleeding. Just kidding......right.

Anyways, I discovered an unexpected benefit of being injured- I can be totally sloppy with my cuts now! Hey! The garnishes are meant to be cut burnoise, which is always the bane of my life. Seriously, I hate burnoise. But now I can cut them any way I want and just say " Mais Chef, j'ai un doigt très blessé!" Hah, nono I still cut my vegetables properly, though maybe a bit larger than required. That I blame on the fact that I lost 15 minutes fixing my finger and so I had to work faster.

At the end of the class, I thanked the Chef for taking care of me and my index finger, and he praised me for coming back to class. He even wrote in french "Had a bad injury but still returned to the classroom. Bravo!" on my grading sheet. Thanks chef. I would never miss a class for something like that. Too bad you're not British, or I'd make a Monty Python reference ("'just a flesh wound").

The key lesson from today is- despite finishing Basic Cuisine at Le Cordon Bleu, one must remember the fundamental skills and remain vigilant when cooking. I admit I was a bit sloppy in holding the celery when I cut myself. Next time, it might be more than just a deep cut. Noted, I'll do better.

To make myself feel better, I went for a late night ramen snack. Nothing makes me feel better than a bowl of noodle soup and beer.

 Now you see it.....

Quote of the day:

"Pulling out the mushroom stem is like pulling a baby teeth- you just need to rock them back and forth gently and they'll pop right off."

-Demo Chef Caals

Don't Stop Me Now! I'm Having Such A Good Time! I'm Having A Ball.

Don't Stop Me Now! If You Wanna Have A Good Time, Just Give Me A Call!
(Queen- Don't Stop Me Now)

Intermediate Lesson 01- Basque Country

I'm so excited to start my intermediate class at Le Cordon Bleu! Basic Cuisine was a blast, and I just want to keep learning more dishes and techniques.

The Cordon Bleu classes in November-December is intensive, meaning that we go more than twice the speed than the regular program. By the end of this week, we will reach lesson 10 (!). The good news is it will be over in less than four weeks. Lets hope I don't get sick or injured during this time.

Anyways, today's dish is a Basque-style Chicken Sauté.

Wham! We served the chicken

The dish incorporates some Esplette pepper, which is from the Basque region. We also served it with a pilaff rice with saffron, sautéed jambon and peppers typical of the Basque region. The bird itself was cooked sear-braised style

Perhaps it's been a long time since I've worked in a high pressure kitchen, or maybe I just suck, but I kept making mistakes in the kitchen. First mistake was I accidentally stabbed my left hand while cutting the raw chicken thigh. I've done this more than a dozen times over the last few months, so how did I screw up? Blood started gushing out and my uniform was all bloody and stained. Luckily, I had Chef Poupard as my practical chef (THANK YOU CHEF GUO FOR TELLING ME HIS NAME), who promptly brought me to the first aid section. The cut itself wasn't that deep, but he very clearly used the same level of focus to meticulously examine my cut and treated it as he used when he plated his dishes during our demonstration, which I really appreciated. This is a solidly good chef who cares about his students.

I thanked him and went back to 2GS to continue cooking. Sadly, I made more mistakes such as browning my vegetables and undercooking my chicken. Sorry chef. I hate disappointing people I look up to.

Surprisingly, Chef Poupard said my chicken was cooked perfectly (despite it being very bloody and red inside). I just don't understand French tolerance for raw meat. His feedback to me were mainly that I should have placed my chicken behind my garnishes so the round shape of the plate can compliment the shape of my chicken. Also he wanted my rice to be cooked softer. I pushed back and said said that I thought we needed our rice Al Dente, but apparently the only type of rice that we cook to Al Dente is Risotto. Everything else should be more douc, softer.

Quotes from this class:

"If I see someone using their cellphone in class..." *PAUSES... then takes out his rolling pin* "Let's just say.... " *Smashes the rolling pin on the table... SMILES* "  I'll smash it into pieces. Or it'll go into the deep fryer."

-Demo Chef Poupard

Setting ground rules on the first demonstration class of the term.

Demo Chef Poupard: How much do you think 10 grams of saffron costs?
Student1: 20 Euros!
Student2: 100 Euros!
Student3: 8 Euros!
Demo Chef Poupard: 8 Euros? Madam! *Runs over to the student and shakes her hand* I will buy 1 kilograms from you for that price and go on vacation!
Answer was around 40 Euros for 10 Grams. Higher quality saffron will cost more.

One Shot! J'attends Toujours Celui Qui Viendra M'étonner!

Mais laisse tomber, et laisse tomber. C'est même plus la peine, c'est même plus la peine
(Maitre Gims feat Dry- One Shot)

Basic Cuisine Exam

After 9 weeks of cooking, cutting and burning, we've finally reached the end of the term. Exams at Cordon Bleu is divided into the written exam, which we had last week, and the practical exam, in which we would be given 10 dishes from our term to study, and then on exam day would be made to 1. write out all the required ingredients and 2. make the dish by heard or "Par cœur!" as the chefs yelled out throughout the term.

The written exam was jokingly easy, if you paid attention to class and then brute force memorize the glossary. It was still a bit challenging because some words were not on the glossary. I still remember freaking out freaking out on page one and thinking"WTF IS A BERCY SAUCE????!? It wasn't on the glossary! OMG IMGONNAFAILLLLL" and then feeling better when the rest of the exam had questions like "The best Parmesan cheese comes from a town in Holland. True / False."

Anyways to the practical exam. On exam day, we each drew a different dish to cook upon entering the kitchen. I drew the rabbit dish, which I guess means I pulled a rabbit out of the hat (hah). We had 15 minutes to fill in the ingredients list of the dish, then they would take away our answer sheet and give us the correct ingredients list, and we would start to cook the dish. We had 2.5 hours to complete the dish, and would have points deducted for every minute more needed. As in regular practical, you are given only enough ingredients to cook the dish, and you have only one shot to do it right.

The entire exam wasn't that difficult, and I was fairly comfortable with the dish. Moreover, the two proctoring chefs present in the practical exam gave a good amount of hints to help you like "Are you sure you want to use veal stock, or would you want to use chicken stock?" or "Hmmm you may want to use this piece of meat that you are discarding..... Just a thought." We were suppose to cook four-people's worth of food, which is different than the one-person portion that normally do in practical. Otherwise, the whole exam was fairly straightforward. I did everything just fine, except I almost forgot to sear the organs of the rabbit. I furiously seared them in the last 10 minutes.

Oh we also had to turn and cook an artichoke, which as you may remember I really didn't want to screw up. I did just fine, no problem at all.

Sorry, I forgot to take a photo of my dish. All I could say is I really liked the sauce that I made. I hope I passed my exam.

Quote from this class:

As I started searing the rabbit pieces halfway through the exam.
Proctor Chef: Hey don't you want to cook the head too? *Points towards the severed rabbit head that I left on my tray*
(In my mind: Shit do I need to cook the head? Shit shit. Not, I remember that we discard the head. But why would the Chef say that? Do I really not cook it? ERMAHGERD!)
Me: No.... I don't think it's fine.
Chef: Yeah it would be weird to serve a cooked head on a plate, wouldn't it?
Me: Well in China, they sometimes serve the pig's head along with the rest of a roast pig.
Chef: Ew really? Anyways, this looks really funny, no? *Picks up head and starts playing with it*
(In my head: Dude, seriously? Now? You're making jokes with a mutilated dead rabbit's head now?)
Me: Oui Chef, très amusant.
Chef: Ah hahahaah doesn't this kind of look like a cat? *Points the severed head at me and wiggles it around, its eyes staring blankly at me*
Me: ha yeah um........... *Continue cutting shallots